Bridge

We met by fate. We separated by fate. When we do not even have any chance, we do not meet in the right time, we do not meet in the right mood, these are too, a fate.

I have a long journey of one sided story. One sided friendship, one sided family, one sided love, one sided dream. This phrase is part of me. Beside, I let people to be one sided too, toward me. Sometimes, I let my friends misses me, but I ignore them. I let someone had a crush on me, but when things getting serious, I ignore him. I let myself following my dream, but when everything is settled and I just need to start, I ignore it. And in the end, I let the doubt enchants me over and over again.

I believe every human has a unique story to differentiate each other. Sometimes, I borrow someone's  way of think to solve my problem. And when the result comes, I'll be thinking like "It could be better if I'm using my own", or "Thankfully, I got to solve this, in the way like this". But when it comes to a one-sided story, I left alone. I have no clue. I have no idea how to solve this. And this one too, it's ok. I'm so okay with it.

The thing is, even I know every problems made me, nourished me, and gave me lessons, I don't even know how to use it when I go to the same problem. Same as this dizzying one sided problem. I keep looking for it, confess to it even to myself, keep falling for it, and keep missing it. I got rejected, over and over again, but I can't forget it. I got hurt, but not seeing it hurts me more. I chased after it, but it getting farther and farther. And the worse is, when I determined to let through it, it haunted me, even into my dream. Dragged me into despair.

I think I need a bridge. Bridge that connects all of my experience into one encyclopedia that can be referred by me when I have a similar problem in future. I get healed by time, but everyday, my time is getting limited. So I need a shortcut to overcome it. Do you have any idea where should I find that bridge?

Beside, the bridge reminds me a lot about you. Bridge that can help me to cross over a big river with swift current. And this time too, I need a bridge. Who will help me this time? I'm so curious.

-Tris-